ENFJ relationships

People who share the ENFJ personality type feel most at home when they are in a relationship, and few types are more eager to establish a loving commitment with their chosen partners. ENFJs take dating and relationships seriously, selecting partners with an eye towards the long haul, rather than the more casual approach that might be expected from some Explorer (SP) types. There's really no greater joy for ENFJs than to help along the goals of someone they care about, and the interweaving of lives that a committed relationship represents is the perfect opportunity to do just that.

I'm a Slow Walker, But I Never Walk Back

Even in the dating phase, people with the ENFJ personality type are ready to show their commitment by taking the time and effort to establish themselves as dependable, trustworthy partners.

ENFJ relationshipsTheir Intuitive (N) trait helps them to keep up with the rapidly shifting moods that are common early in relationships, but ENFJs will still rely on conversations about their mutual feelings, checking the pulse of the relationship by asking how things are, and if there's anything else they can do. While this can help to keep conflict, which ENFJs abhor, to a minimum, they also risk being overbearing or needy - ENFJs should keep in mind that sometimes the only thing that's wrong is being asked what's wrong too often.

ENFJs don't need much to be happy, just to know that their partner is happy, and for their partner to express that happiness through visible affection. Making others' goals come to fruition is often the chiefest concern of ENFJs, and they will spare no effort in helping their partner to live the dream. If they aren't careful though, ENFJs' quest for their partners' satisfaction can leave them neglecting their own needs, and it's important for them to remember to express those needs on occasion, especially early on.

You Cannot Escape the Responsibility of Tomorrow By Evading it Today

ENFJs' tendency to avoid any kind of conflict, sometimes even sacrificing their own principles to keep the peace, can lead to long-term problems if these efforts never fully resolve the underlying issues that they mask. On the other hand, people with the ENFJ personality type can sometimes be too preemptive in resolving their conflicts, asking for criticisms and suggestions in ways that convey neediness or insecurity. ENFJs invest their emotions wholly in their relationships, and are sometimes so eager to please that it actually undermines the relationship - this can lead to resentment, and even the failure of the relationship. When this happens, ENFJs experience strong senses of guilt and betrayal, as they see all their efforts slip away.

If potential partners appreciate these qualities though, and make an effort themselves to look after the needs of their ENFJ partners, they will enjoy long, happy, passionate relationships. ENFJs are known to be dependable lovers, perhaps more interested in routine and stability than spontaneity in their sex lives, but always dedicated to the selfless satisfaction of their partners. Ultimately, ENFJ personality types believe that the only true happiness is mutual happiness, and that's the stuff successful relationships are made of.

Strengths & Weaknesses


Your name:
Oct 13, 2014 19:55:16
Keith D HOOKs SR.
Oct 04, 2014 21:00:46
I think I'm going to like being a ENFJ.
Sep 26, 2014 02:10:43
Anyone know what personality type is best in a romantic relationship if you are a ENFJ ?
Oct 01, 2014 00:58:03
I continually read that INFP and ENFJ are the ideal match for each other.
Jane Bender
Oct 17, 2014 14:33:50
I have read that Intuitive types are good matches for one another, and also that two of the other types should contradict each other for a bit of balance, usually the Extravert/Introvert and Thinking/Feeling types. So probably an INTP or INTJ. At least, that's what I've found based on my "research."
Sep 25, 2014 09:01:25
I'm an INFP male looking for an ENFP female. Where do I find you guy's? Naturally really shy around women i'm attracted to and takes literally all I have to ask a girl out. I get rejected every time though. Which then usually takes about 6 months for me to recover from. Any advice?
Jane Bender
Oct 17, 2014 14:35:48
One of my best friends (female) is an INFP and her boyfriend is an ENFP. So amazing together! I can't help you find one, but I can tell you, when you do, keep her!
Sep 25, 2014 07:27:13
INFP here and dang you guy's sound sexy.