Protagonists (ENFJs) can be intense when it comes to matters of the heart – and they wouldn’t have it any other way. People with this personality type rarely settle for anything that falls short of their ideals, and their romantic relationships are no exception.
Although these personalities may come across as outgoing or even a bit flirtatious, few Protagonists are satisfied by fleeting attractions. Their standards are high, and they know it. In fact, this awareness might give Protagonists a deeper appreciation of just how rare and precious it is to feel a real spark with another person – and, in turn, just how rare and special it is when that spark grows into the steady flames of true, abiding love.
Moving Beyond the Dating Game
When Protagonists fall for someone, they tend to fall hard – and they’re not coy about it. Protagonists are among the personality types that most readily express how they feel, so they often find themselves making the first move, rather than playing games or waiting for reassurance that the other person feels the same way.
In the dating world, Protagonists’ willingness to put themselves out there can be refreshing and more than a little unusual. This, along with the intensity of their passion, is incredibly appealing to many people. That said, because Protagonists do so often make the first move, they may encounter their share of rejection as they search for a kindred spirit.
Even on the first date, these personalities may steer the conversation toward weightier topics. Protagonists don’t just want to find out what TV shows someone watches – they want to get a sense of their partner’s dreams and aspirations, the changes they hope to make to themselves and to the world. And as the relationship deepens, Protagonists take pride in supporting their partner to make good on these dreams.
Some Protagonists carry this a step further, taking on their partner’s goals as their own. This can be problematic, to say the least. If Protagonist personalities become overinvested in helping their partner, they may end up neglecting their own self-care, hobbies, and friendships. They may also be at risk of pushing their partner to change their life in ways that they simply aren’t ready for.
When Protagonists carry this too far, they often find that the pressure they put on their partner to “better” themselves backfires in one of two ways. Their partner may become insecure, fearing that they aren’t good enough as they are, or they may become angry, feeling resentful of the implication that they need to change. Either way, Protagonists must learn to encourage their partner to grow without pushing too hard.
The Long Haul
Few personality types are keener than Protagonists to establish a loving commitment with their chosen partner. They take dating and relationships seriously. Even in the earliest days of a relationship, Protagonists tend to focus on long-term potential, and as the relationship matures, they want to do what it takes to bring that potential to fruition.
This can be a beautiful thing. Protagonists care about pleasing their partner, and their sensitivity helps them tune in to their partner’s shifting moods and desires. As long as they don’t lose track of their own needs, people with this personality type can enjoy incredibly rewarding relationships that are founded on trust, mutual support, and honesty – and, of course, love.