ISTJ Parents

As parents, people with the ISTJ personality type are often the most comfortable. Their sense of responsibility and honor blends well with a tradition that has been in place since time immemorial: to raise one’s children to be respected, contributing members of home and society. As with most commitments, ISTJs do not take their roles as parents lightly, and will make it their work to ensure that this tradition is upheld to the highest standard.

This doesn’t always come easily for their children though, as ISTJs tend to be strict, with high standards and expectations. ISTJ personalities establish stable, clearly structured environments for their children, always with an eye on helping them to develop a sense of place in society, and to fulfill useful roles.

ISTJ parents
A clear sense of hierarchy is a part of developing this identity, and ISTJs work just as much to ensure an appropriate respect for authority as they do with family and societal structure.

All this loyalty, devotion and structure are of little use though when ISTJs’ children need the warmth of emotional support. While ISTJs can be sensitive towards those they care about in their own way, it’s hard for younger children and especially adolescents to recognize this tough love for the love that it is. Often ISTJs need to rely on a more sensitive partner to fill this role and mediate between rational purpose and the more ethereal sense of emotional well-being.

Success Is Owed to Our Parents’ Moral and Intellectual Teachings

People with the ISTJ personality type are strongly principled, valuing patience and hard work, qualities children often struggle with. Nevertheless, ISTJs’ children are expected to meet these standards and share these values, for their own good. This approach often bears its fruit in the long run, but ISTJs must keep in mind that their approach creates natural barriers and distance that often leave their children wondering if they’re on the same team.

Taken too far, or with mutual stubbornness, this may even set in as a permanent state in the relationship, something both ISTJ parents and their children ultimately regret. It is best for ISTJs to embrace and hold to their own values, but to also recognize that each person has their own goals, and to meet their children halfway in attaining theirs. Combining their natural devotion and purpose with this flexibility in support of their children’s own vision leads to a sense of mutual respect and accomplishment that any ISTJ parent would be proud of.

Anonymous
1 year ago
My mom is an ISTJ and it's been a traumatizing experience to say the least. Being the independent female INTJ that I am, we always have a personality clash. She wants a marionette that she can control at her command. It's just not fair to me or anyone. And FYI, I am the perfect child, best GPA out of 200 students and still it was not enough for her to allow me to choose my own career and university. How much I wish my mother understood this: "It is best for ISTJs to embrace and hold to their own values, but to also recognize that each person has their own goals, and to meet their children halfway in attaining theirs".
2 months ago
Oh, I've had "some" issues with my father, who I guessed was this type. i'm also one of the best students in my school, and he recognizes that, my problem is on a different level, probably involves more N-S and J-P clashing: He sometimes thinks I'mm too distractful, and my reduced care for some social rules, questioning and some uncertainty approach to things (preferring to admit I'm not sure and such as much as possible, instead of defining something as a set fact) makes him mad at me. He tells me my lack of care with myself is to hurt him, and that I look like a beggar by doing so. This is very infuriating for me as well, because I do those things because I don't really care about some details I consider minor regardng my stuff (example: he was complaining because I was using an ugly-yet-useable pencilcase from last year, and was already complaining becuase I didn't buy a new one within two weeks), and I don't intend to do those things to hurt him, I'm just aware, and consider that I shouldn't stop doing some stuff I consider an important part of being myself if they hurt him, which doesn't mean I'm intentionally wanting him hurt. To make things worse, despite him being an introvert, he sees that as a weakness of his, and thinks I'm socially isolated, and ignores all the moments on which I have social contact.
Barbara
2 years ago
Haha, this really seems like my father, he is an ISTJ after all. He used to teach me math when I was little and he would get quite mad if I didn't understand something or did something wrong, my mother always had to come and tell him to calm down, but I thought it to be more funny than scary xP. He's gotten better with time. Actually, he is very affectionate with me and my mother now.
Barbara
1 year ago
I understand you :( I'm sorry that it turned out like this for you. But if my situation is better, honestly, I have to thank my mother, she was the one who truly knew how to handle him. I just hope you don't carry your father's critic with you now. You're definitely not dumb, neither of us are! ;D Academic intelligence is not everything that counts.
Johnny Rockard
3 years ago
I find it true!
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