ISTJ Parents

As parents, people with the ISTJ personality type are often the most comfortable. Their sense of responsibility and honor blends well with a tradition that has been in place since time immemorial: to raise one’s children to be respected, contributing members of home and society. As with most commitments, ISTJs do not take their roles as parents lightly, and will make it their work to ensure that this tradition is upheld to the highest standard.

This doesn’t always come easily for their children though, as ISTJs tend to be strict, with high standards and expectations. ISTJ personalities establish stable, clearly structured environments for their children, always with an eye on helping them to develop a sense of place in society, and to fulfill useful roles.

ISTJ parents
A clear sense of hierarchy is a part of developing this identity, and ISTJs work just as much to ensure an appropriate respect for authority as they do with family and societal structure.

All this loyalty, devotion and structure are of little use though when ISTJs’ children need the warmth of emotional support. While ISTJs can be sensitive towards those they care about in their own way, it’s hard for younger children and especially adolescents to recognize this tough love for the love that it is. Often ISTJs need to rely on a more sensitive partner to fill this role and mediate between rational purpose and the more ethereal sense of emotional well-being.

Success Is Owed to Our Parents’ Moral and Intellectual Teachings

People with the ISTJ personality type are strongly principled, valuing patience and hard work, qualities children often struggle with. Nevertheless, ISTJs’ children are expected to meet these standards and share these values, for their own good. This approach often bears its fruit in the long run, but ISTJs must keep in mind that their approach creates natural barriers and distance that often leave their children wondering if they’re on the same team.

Taken too far, or with mutual stubbornness, this may even set in as a permanent state in the relationship, something both ISTJ parents and their children ultimately regret. It is best for ISTJs to embrace and hold to their own values, but to also recognize that each person has their own goals, and to meet their children halfway in attaining theirs. Combining their natural devotion and purpose with this flexibility in support of their children’s own vision leads to a sense of mutual respect and accomplishment that any ISTJ parent would be proud of.

Anonymous
1 year ago
My mom is an ISTJ and it's been a traumatizing experience to say the least. Being the independent female INTJ that I am, we always have a personality clash. She wants a marionette that she can control at her command. It's just not fair to me or anyone. And FYI, I am the perfect child, best GPA out of 200 students and still it was not enough for her to allow me to choose my own career and university. How much I wish my mother understood this: "It is best for ISTJs to embrace and hold to their own values, but to also recognize that each person has their own goals, and to meet their children halfway in attaining theirs".
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