INTP Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, INTPs have an interesting mixture of traits that often pleasantly surprise their partners. People with this personality type are always full of ideas, but they have few opportunities to explore their more romantic notions. As with any of their theories, INTPs love sharing with others, and in finally meeting someone where romantic thoughts are appropriate, they show themselves to be excited, enthusiastic, and even playful, flirting with word-play and intellectual games.

None of this is to say that these relationships come easily to INTPs – they are shy and withdrawn individuals, and getting out and meeting new people, risking rejection and making themselves the center of attention in emotionally delicate situations are far from being their strengths. It is more likely that INTP personalities will leave a trail of breadcrumbs for a potential partner, allowing them to make the first move and committing to their partner as an act of reciprocation rather than bravado.

Marry! A Good Wife Makes Happiness, A Bad One, Philosophy

From the start, INTPs take their relationships seriously – their imagination and vision, and the challenge of getting to know new people, make them all too aware of how important it is that they’re involved with someone, and they will prove themselves surprisingly loyal. Even early in the dating phase, INTPs are unusually direct and honest, doing their best to express their mindset and create mutual understanding, believing that this shared knowledge will help to minimize misunderstandings and avoid conflict.

As their relationships progress, INTPs’ daily needs prove remarkably simple. Gifts, surprises, complex social plans and date nights are all fairly unimportant to people with the INTP personality type, but this is also one of their chiefest weaknesses – their partner may very much need these things, and it won’t even occur to INTPs to plan them out. For all their analysis and attempts at mutual understanding, INTPs are notoriously bad at picking up on others’ emotional needs.

INTP romantic relationships
When it comes to conflict, there is a certain willful ignorance for INTPs, and they often set aside their partners’ feelings, and their own, for far too long.

When these conflicts do arise and are inescapable, INTPs will do their best to find a logical solution. But this hardly helps if the problem is logic itself, that INTP personalities aren’t meeting their partners’ emotional needs. INTPs should keep this in mind, and try to meet their partners halfway by communicating on an emotional level – if they make this effort, understanding partners will recognize and appreciate the gesture, clumsy though it may be. After all, they need to afford INTPs the same benefit, and meet them halfway with logic and simplicity as well.

Beware the Barrenness of a Busy Life

All this material asceticism and conflict avoidance support one primary goal – to free up mental resources for more important things. INTPs’ creative, vivid imagination make for a surprisingly enthusiastic, passionate, and romantic partner. While INTPs may prioritize their inner world too much, imagining interesting and exciting intimate situations that are never expressed to their partners, they also use this rich inner world to achieve as much as possible in intimacy – they rarely want for ideas.

Physically, intellectually and with a little effort emotionally, INTP relationships are rich and rewarding connections. Partners who share the Intuitive (N) trait are usually best, along with one or two opposite traits to create variety and balance, but so long as INTPs remember that they are with people who have their own, independent wants and needs, and so long as their partners remember the same of their INTPs, these are long-lasting and satisfying relationships.

Paulina
3 years ago
this explains so much now. I am glad I broke it off with my Bf. He was an INTP, and he was just completely irrational about my feelings so often. Many times I would try to reason with him but before having a grown up talk, he would just give up and say "forget it" . THATs the worst feeling any girl should have to deal with. I am an INFJ, so I look for strong emotional support, something this INTP guy clearly had none of. I only agreed to date him because he was cute. But I know now that makes for the worst kind of relationships. I hope I save some girls from going through something like I did.
Anetta
2 years ago
Yeah and I hope this state as a warning to all of you INTP guys and girls... Don't waste your time on an illogical INFJ like this one here. Most of us lack emotional support, and that's because emotion makes us weak.. here is the example. I'm not being mean but just don't state your name as "any girl"! MY boyfriend is an F, but he do understand why sometimes I just can't fulfill his emotional needs. Unlike someone here... a.k.a you
Katya
3 years ago
I'm an INTP and I often get lost in my own world, away from reality with my own ideas, I hate explaining stuff, it's easier to just say never mind or not anything at all sometimes, cause other times I will just get annoyed and after I say the answer.
Diana
3 years ago
I'm an ENFP that has endured and adored an INTP for 8 years. He's utterly adorable, infuriating, intelligent, impractical, deeply sensitive, cold, sensual and lost in thought in equal measure. I'm a glutton for punishment because it appears I like a challenge- as he must too! The social aspect of our lives is the hardest because I'm energised and he exhausted by other people. I've learnt to do a lot without him and generally that's okay. What we get to share together makes it worth it.
Kistia
3 years ago
Hmm, I am now in a relationship with INTP and we really have something to be discussed. I am an ENFJ and I want to understand him but I know it's very hard. We are now decided to not talk for a while and I let him have some time alone to think about us. Hhhh. Why is seem so hard?
Chaitanya
3 years ago
That cleared some weight off my chest and unclogged my brain a little... so it was INTP personality all together ... and I was trying to over analyze what could possibly be wrong. People call me indecisive though they turn for solution towards me .... I always consider six possible solutions.. their longtime and short-time impacts and things as such. Heartening to learn that there are people like me too... 3-4 romances but afraid to go to the final step ... the one which in which I bargained very badly ... ended up becoming my spouse as I became the perfect loyalist (Instantly!!)
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