INTP Parents

In parenting roles, as with many social roles, INTPs find themselves facing a robust but healthy challenge. Not a naturally sensitive type, INTP personalities struggle to identify with the raw emotions and irrationality that are often the standard with young children, who have yet to develop the sort of self-control and logical thinking that INTPs take for granted.

People with the INTP personality type are nevertheless incredibly devoted – perhaps not in the traditional, emotionally supportive sense, but they are parents who are committed to encouraging their growing children to think and act independently, seek out new knowledge, and voice and defend their own opinions.

INTP parents

For INTPs knowledge is key, and they will do their best to give their children the tolerance and freedom necessary to acquire it. INTP parents take a relaxed, intellectual approach towards their children, allowing them to explore the world around them and overlooking the more minor offences along the way.

Having no interest in exerting control over other human beings, INTPs are likely to allow their children to form their own principles – though they may take the opportunity of the "why?" phase to share their own perspectives and ideas, just in case.

INTP personalities are not particularly demanding parents, at least not in the sense that they expect their children to live a traditional life of school/career/marriage/house/kids/retirement (and in that order, thank you very much). Rather, INTP parents are demanding in an intellectual sense – they want their children to ask if this path is the best path for them, and how to go about following a different one if they need to. This level of personal freedom can be daunting, and can take a long time to come to terms with, but INTP parents are prepared to stand by their children with support and advice for as long as they need.

While there is hardly a better parent for having rational, intelligent discussions with their children, there is hardly a clumsier example when it comes to providing the emotional support that many children need, especially as they approach their teenage years. In this area, INTPs will need to either rely on a more capable partner, or to take themselves far out of their comfort zone in order to empathize without trying to clear away the tears with an endless series of rational suggestions and blunt truths.

Not Just Life, but Good Life

INTPs want nothing more than for their children to grow up smart, independent, and tolerant, but if they want them to be well-adjusted too, they must make this effort. INTPs’ parenting style affords a great deal of latitude for their children, but with this freedom comes responsibility, and it is INTPs’ responsibility to ensure that it is used constructively. Though it’s a challenge for people with the INTP personality type to teach empathy alongside rationality, if they are able to pull it off, their children will grow into confident adults who know how to ask questions, use their minds, and take care of themselves no matter what comes their way.

3 years ago
I'm an INFP but I was a bit curious about my father so I (obviously) decided to search up a bit more about INTPs. I have to agree, my father is the more rational one between both of my parents and he always gives me the space I need in order to grow. I really appreciate that and how tolerant he is of my ideals and values, as long as I have a good reason for them of course. I do my best to please him seeing as I've always been a daddy's girl so I always give my all when it comes to academics and it's always worth is to see the proud smile on my father's face when I'm awarded the "most open-minded student" certificate or given an honour's roll or director's list. He always beams when my teachers praises me in front of him. It's kind of funny, really. I think he's so relieved that I'm not so childish and living in my imaginations any more, especially since he kinda sucks at playing games with me. Imagination is still a big part of me seeing as I'm an INFP but thanks to him and his parenting ways, I also have realistic views of life and do well in my classes because I have the best of both worlds: creativity and imagination from being an INFP and curiousity and logic and just overall smartness (except for in the maths compartment... sorry dad.). INTPs make the best parents! Though I have to admit that I wish he'd sometimes get more emotional with me and be more imaginative and sensitive every now and then. That and I really don't like criticism and sometimes I feel like he has too many expectations for me even though he doesn't voice them. I'm not sure if that only applies to him but if it doesn't and applies to you other INTPs as well, then please consider... I'm not sure, really. Laying off a bit, I guess? I don't know. I just feel so disappointed in myself when I tell my father about my latest failure in maths and he gives me a sad smile and he tries to help me improve in my skills. Maybe he could try to hide it better or tell me good job for at least trying? He's always been awkward in the emotional compartment but at least now I can justify why. Still, I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. But yeah. This whole rambling right now is basically for you INTPs to kind of get a view of how your children view you though every person is different so my opinions and observations might not be the same for another INTP or another child.
2 years ago
This is actually very helpful. I have two children, one at ten years and one at sixteen. I am married to an INFP myself, and I nearly always leave the emotional struggles to him in order to avoid crushing any feelings. My son and I are very close nonetheless, and he often comes to me for a logical view on his relationships and struggles. I did find it strange that your father lacks imagination, though. If anything, I have been accused of having too much imagination!
2 months ago
You may want to consider your father being an executive or one of the other sentinels as well. Just a probability, especially with the lack of imagination that you say he has.
3 years ago
No, I think it is funny too, Nullem. I have 4 children, two are grown. My son is perfectly able to take care of himself and bright. My daughter, she needs help now and then. The other 2 I am raising the same, despite my logical partially militant man. Who parents very different from I, so Solomon I love my style of parenting, no one else does. When I heard a few years back kids were accidentally hanging themselves for sexual release, I watched with my daughter hours of vids about kids who died playing The Choking Game. Seemed logical, did I scar her...possibly. She never played that game, and neither did her friends. At least now I know why I explained the scary out of movies, ect.. "That's an actor, someone wrote a script and the actors have to do everything that is written, even if it's stupid, Now watch the movie!"
4 years ago
I have a friend who is INTP and he is almost always an enigma to deal with. This may be because I'm ESFP, but I almost could never understand him or his motives. This helps a bunch with these kind of things
4 years ago
I love kids and I think this is how I'd be a parent to i give them a lot of freedom to I can see that so clearly it's scary I don't think this is a bad parenting style.
4 years ago
I used to wonder what what wrong with me why i just didnt feel sorry for kids when they were in a fit of fury. And i am very liberal with them and allow them to make their own decisions a lot even at a young age but when it comes to safety, bedtime and healthy eating i am as anal as they come. I really dont think my parenting style is bad at all even if i recieve a lot of criticism from family. :P
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