INTP Friends

Many of the usual motivations for making friends – emotional support, social validation, shared routine – simply don’t apply to INTPs. More likely, these concepts are met with disdain, as people with the INTP personality type prize intellectual depth above all else. It is not easy to become good friends with INTPs, but if there is a common interest and a common train of thought, the connection is likely to spark instantly, surprising everyone else who thought they had this distant personality type pegged.

INTP friends

Be Slow to Fall Into Friendship...

INTP friendships are knowledge-based, defined by the exchange of ideas, theories, and concepts, and those who aren’t able to keep up with this, or who have sharply differing tastes (don’t talk to INTPs about celebrities) will find stony faces that border on rude. To INTPs, communication is often more of a nuisance than a pleasure, and conversation is reserved for topics that they find meaningful, or for people they already like enough to stick it out.

Unless there’s a natural affinity for this intellectual style, few have the patience to try to penetrate their shields, and INTPs are left with a naturally small circle of good friends.

Other Analyst types are a natural fit for INTPs, who share their passion for new ideas, riddles and solutions. People with the INTP personality type are knowledgeable and intelligent, and have a great deal of respect for those who can keep them on their toes in this regard. They will gladly help to tackle any dilemma thrown their way, offering up sound advice and rational solutions. As valuable as these qualities are though, they are not always the best approach – when it comes to emotional support or advice in dealing with matters of the heart, INTPs are at a loss.

It’s not that INTP personalities don’t feel – quite the contrary, they actually have very strong sentiments. But Feeling (F) is one of INTPs’ least developed traits, making their emotional reactions strong, untrustworthy and naturally in need of being tempered by their well-trained logic and rationalism. Still waters run deep.

...But When in Friendship, Continue Firm and Constant

While they may not be able to help directly with these sorts of problems, INTPs help indirectly with unambiguous and reliable friendships. INTPs’ friends need never worry about power games or emotional baggage – they are liked for their minds and abilities, not their status or possessions. While it may not be easy to establish true friendships with INTP personalities, once the link is made, they will provide years of understanding and thought-stimulating ideas, making them well worth the effort.

Anonymous
4 years ago
I dis-like the comment, "this is why I have no friends." Better, I think, is, "this is why I never wanted [many] friends." I've always been a loner - a happy loner. I require a lot of quiet time. I like friends to be, "in their place." Work friends are for work, not home, not going out to eat - work. The few friends I have, have commented that I don't talk about my life outside of where they know me very much (work friends don't know about my personal life, for instance). They also say I'm hard to read. Sadly, I've been called underemotional, cold, and indifferent. The truth is, I care deeply and am thinking about what has happened, rationalizing it, looking for underlying principles or problems, and possible solutions. I do care. Finally humor. One friend in particular says she never knows if I'm kidding. She says sometimes my comments are hurtful until she learned my sarcasm. DARK SIDE? I once moved and the man next door introduced himself and immediately began giving me a hard time. I asked, "have you ever been set on fire?" We ended up being friends.
OJJ
4 years ago
if you’re considering being friends with an INTP, be ready to make the first steps especially at the beginning, and the beginning could sometimes be a very long time. They might take to you immediately, not that they’ll show it, and it might get easier. They might not either and the you might have a long and slow journey before you reach the point of established friendship. INTPs tend to be reserved and have a lot of layers. It might take a really long time to get to know one, and even more to make sense of what you know of one and truly understand one.
Leah
4 years ago
I am an INTJ who is good friends with an INTP. We have a particularly interesting friendship. She reflects all the typical stereotype of an INTP. She is studying History and I, Medical Science and our entire friendship and conversation reflects these two entities. We both have trouble making friends. But even so, my friend and I rarely see each other.
Chloe
5 years ago
So this is why I have no friends....
Anonymous
5 years ago
I guess that's why I'm not so popular. My bestie is an ESTJ friend, though. Is that odd?
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