Even though romantic relationships and dating are inherently difficult for INTPs, people with this personality type take them very seriously. The main problem that INTPs are likely to face in this area is that they are not naturally sensitive or emotional individuals. Consequently, understanding another person’s feelings or expressing their own is not something that an INTP is well equipped to do.
Furthermore, INTPs strongly dislike being at the centre of emotionally charged situations. As interpersonal conflicts are virtually inevitable even in the happiest romantic relationships, INTPs may find those situations quite frustrating and consequently try to avoid or ignore emotional conflicts in their relationship, especially during the dating phase. If there is no escape, the INTP will try to find a solution but will likely rely on the analytical approach, which can be very different from what their partner [especially if they belong to one of the Feeling (F) personality types] might expect. INTP personalities should try to include this in their thought process, especially when it comes to dealing with conflicts in the earlier stages of the relationship.
These weaknesses aside, INTP personalities tend to be very loyal and faithful partners. INTPs are also unusually direct and honest, even if they have just started dating someone. People with this personality type always stick to their commitments and are actually quite easy to date and live with—they have simple daily needs and do not demand much from their partners.
However, despite seeking simplicity in dating and romantic relationships, INTPs do not lack passion or romantic feelings. On the contrary, people with the INTP personality type tend to be extremely creative individuals whose vivid imagination allows them to always remain very enthusiastic and passionate in romantic relationships. Anyone dating an INTP may be quite surprised by this sometimes.
INTPs’ simple daily needs are completely opposite their inner world, which is bound to be very complex and colourful. However, there is a certain logic behind this: INTPs purposefully seek simplicity in the “real” life so that they can focus all their mental power on the inner world.
People with the INTP personality type are likely to use their rich imaginations to achieve as much as possible in intimate situations. While their enthusiasm can be very impressive, INTPs should be aware of their tendency to prioritize the inner world. It is entirely possible that an INTP will imagine an intimate situation in a very exciting and interesting way but will choose not to reveal that to their dating or long-term partner.
Another potential issue that someone with the INTP personality type should try to resolve is their tendency to overlook their partner’s emotional needs. As already mentioned above, INTPs are not naturally sensitive or emotional, but their partner might have a very different personality. It is important for an INTP to try to understand their feelings and communicate on the emotional level, instead of simply relying on commitment and dedication and believing that this is all that is needed. Of course, their partner should also be aware of INTP personality traits and quirks, and try not to demand a constant flow of emotions from the INTP.
If you would like to learn more about how INTPs can get better at starting and maintaining healthy romantic relationships, including advice aimed at specific personality type combinations, download the INTP In-Depth Profile – a 60+ page guide covering a number of diverse topics. If you are single, you might also want to take a look at our Dating section.
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