Even though romantic relationships and dating are inherently difficult for INTPs, people with this personality type take them very seriously. The main problem that INTPs are likely to face in this area is that they are not naturally sensitive or emotional individuals – consequently, understanding another person’s feelings or expressing their own is not something that an INTP is well equipped to do.
Furthermore, INTPs strongly dislike being at the centre of emotionally-charged situations. As interpersonal conflicts are virtually inevitable even in happiest romantic relationships, INTPs may find those situations quite frustrating and consequently try to avoid or ignore emotional conflicts in their relationship, especially during the dating phase. If there is no escape, the INTP will try to find a solution, but likely rely on the analytical approach, which can be very different from what their partner (especially if they belong to one of the F personality types) might expect. INTP personalities should try to include this in their thought process, especially when it comes to dealing with conflicts in the earlier stages of the relationship.
These weaknesses aside, INTP personalities tend to be very loyal and faithful partners. INTPs are also unusually direct and honest, even if they have just started dating someone. People with this personality type always stick to their commitments and are actually quite easy to date and live with – they have simple daily needs and do not demand much from their partners. However, despite seeking simplicity in dating and romantic relationships, INTPs do not lack passion or romantic feelings. On the contrary, people with the INTP personality type tend to be extremely creative individuals whose vivid imagination allows them to always remain very enthusiastic and passionate in romantic relationships. Anyone dating an INTP may be quite surprised by this sometimes.
INTPs’ simple daily needs are a complete opposite of their inner world, which is bound to be very complex and colourful. However, there is a certain logic behind this – INTPs purposefully seek simplicity in the “real” life so that they can focus all their mental power on the inner world.
People with the INTP personality type are likely to use their rich imagination to achieve as much as possible in intimate situations. While their enthusiasm can be very impressive, INTPs should be aware of their tendency to prioritize the inner world – it is entirely possible that an INTP will imagine an intimate situation in a very exciting and interesting way, but will choose not to reveal that to their dating or long-term partner.
Another potential issue that someone with the INTP personality type should try to resolve is their tendency to overlook their partner’s emotional needs. As already mentioned above, INTPs are not naturally sensitive or emotional, but their partner might have a very different personality – it is important for an INTP to try to understand their feelings and communicate on the emotional level, instead of simply relying on commitment and dedication and believing that this is all that is needed. Of course, their partner should also be aware of INTP personality traits and quirks, and try not to demand constant flow of emotions from the INTP.
Preferred partners: ENTJ and ENFJ types.
We have prepared extensive INTP relationship and dating guides that you may be interested in. If you are single, you might also want to take a look at our Dating section.
Keep reading:
I’m an INTP, and while I find a lot of your information useful, I feel the need to clarify a common belief which is echoed here. INTPs are the Kalashnikov (AK-47) of the relationship realm; meaning, we’re so often called low maintenance that people think we require no maintenance. While that is largely true outside of a relationship, in a relationship it isn’t. Personally, I don’t care about most normal signs of affection, but they show my partner cares. For example: you really love your new car, so you wash it every day. Does it need it? No, but you do it anyway. And nobody would doubt that you love it. But if you only do required maintenance, it won’t seem like anything special. And if you do the bare minimum? Let’s just say you shouldn’t do that with cars or people.
So while you can get away with not giving much to an INTP, you’ll wear them out very quickly. Because personally, I put a lot into my relationship but it feels wrong to ask them to do more when I feel like they aren’t doing much.
And maybe this is all just me personally and regular INTPs don’t feel like this.
Incidentally i agree!!
In our own (maybe not so emotional sense) we are givers, and when feelings/actions go un-noticed/ or un-reciprocated, we are bound to feel a void only a few of us understand!
While we’re at it, i’d also like to add that rather than saying that we dislike emotional involvement, one might say we look at emotional situations with a mixed bag of intuition and logic. Personally, ignoring emotions is not first nature to me!
This is accurate, almost to a fault. So much so in fact that I shared this site with my boyfriend! What was eye-opening for me was that many of the things he’s complained about in our relationship are so closely tied to these traits…
Interestingly though he’s an INTJ and we’re very happy together!
finding out that I am considered an INTP from this, I agree with a lot of it, but some of it just doesn’t seem to “fit”
me but I suppose a family member may feel different.
Am I an INTP or an INFJ?? I can’t distinguish!! Help, anyone??