INTP Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, INTPs have an interesting mixture of traits that often pleasantly surprise their partners. People with this personality type are always full of ideas, but they have few opportunities to explore their more romantic notions. As with any of their theories, INTPs love sharing with others, and in finally meeting someone where romantic thoughts are appropriate, they show themselves to be excited, enthusiastic, and even playful, flirting with word-play and intellectual games.

None of this is to say that these relationships come easily to INTPs – they are shy and withdrawn individuals, and getting out and meeting new people, risking rejection and making themselves the center of attention in emotionally delicate situations are far from being their strengths. It is more likely that INTP personalities will leave a trail of breadcrumbs for a potential partner, allowing them to make the first move and committing to their partner as an act of reciprocation rather than bravado.

Marry! A Good Wife Makes Happiness, A Bad One, Philosophy

INTP personalityFrom the start, INTPs take their relationships seriously – their imagination and vision, and the challenge of getting to know new people, make them all too aware of how important it is that they're involved with someone, and they will prove themselves surprisingly loyal. Even early in the dating phase, INTPs are unusually direct and honest, doing their best to express their mindset and create mutual understanding, believing that this shared knowledge will help to minimize misunderstandings and avoid conflict.

As their relationships progress, INTPs' daily needs prove remarkably simple. Gifts, surprises, complex social plans and date nights are all fairly unimportant to people with the INTP personality type, but this is also one of their chiefest weaknesses – their partner may very much need these things, and it won't even occur to INTPs to plan them out. For all their analysis and attempts at mutual understanding, INTPs are notoriously bad at picking up on others' emotional needs.

When it comes to conflict, there is a certain willful ignorance for INTPs, and they often set aside their partners' feelings, and their own, for far too long.

When these conflicts do arise and are inescapable, INTPs will do their best to find a logical solution. But this hardly helps if the problem is logic itself, that INTP personalities aren't meeting their partners' emotional needs. INTPs should keep this in mind, and try to meet their partners halfway by communicating on an emotional level – if they make this effort, understanding partners will recognize and appreciate the gesture, clumsy though it may be. After all, they need to afford INTPs the same benefit, and meet them halfway with logic and simplicity as well.

Beware the Barrenness of a Busy Life

All this material asceticism and conflict avoidance support one primary goal – to free up mental resources for more important things. INTPs' creative, vivid imagination make for a surprisingly enthusiastic, passionate, and romantic partner. While INTPs may prioritize their inner world too much, imagining interesting and exciting intimate situations that are never expressed to their partners, they also use this rich inner world to achieve as much as possible in intimacy – they rarely want for ideas.

Physically, intellectually and with a little effort emotionally, INTP relationships are rich and rewarding connections. Partners who share the Intuitive (N) trait are usually best, along with one or two opposite traits to create variety and balance, but so long as INTPs remember that they are with people who have their own, independent wants and needs, and so long as their partners remember the same of their INTPs, these are long-lasting and satisfying relationships.


Your name:
v for vendetta
Jul 05, 2015 11:24:47
well.... now that i know that there are people like me i hope that surviving adolescence will become kind of easier than before ..... wish me luck !
C. S. S
Jul 04, 2015 15:21:17
Two things before I rant. I'm 15 and female.
The hard thing for me is I'm blunt, and considered rude by many. But I'm just honest. Humans don't seem to like truth and people pointing out their flaws...
I think I like one of my best friends.. I had him take this test and he's an ENFP.. I am an INTP. I tried peeling back my wall a little bit around him, but it's hard... I've always had a thick wall. And acted so well that even my parents think they know the real me but don't. Do you think there's hope between An INTP and an ENFP? Anyone?
Jul 03, 2015 13:00:28
Wow! I did not realize about 3% of the population could be so much like me. Fascinating stuff.
Jun 03, 2015 02:05:58
So much truth! Some of these things, like the logical solution to conflict, the unusual directness and the freeing up mental resources are highly specific and yet so valid. It's a hard personality to be, but consciousness heals, and I'll come to embrace it (how feely that may sound).
May 08, 2015 08:49:39
I am INTP and there is a girl I like and I want to talk to her. But I can't even speak to her because I feel like it would be very odd coming from me. She has many friends and I feel if start talking to her, they will notice and start asking me so many questions like "Why are you talking all of a sudden" or "Do you talk to her because you like her?". I don't want them swarming me with questions,I just wish I can get some alone time with her and talk and get to know her. Is this something odd coming from an INTP or am I just something else? She is very beautiful and that is one of the reasons I want to talk to her...I guess maybe ask her out. But I wait for them to say something first...I'm too shy. I probably make no sense...correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, the question I want to ask is Can INTPs have a crush on someone and want to really get to know them? Please help...I'm confused.
May 15, 2015 01:24:58
I had the same problem, although im my best online because it helps with my shyness and i can be the real me in front of the world because online is safe for me. then once they know me and know who i am and who i can be i start to become more confident in person, i still avoid questions however the girl i like tries to tell her friends the information she can without making things weird. she still prefers to keep things back from them so it's a bit easier for me. being INTP for me, it really is tough cus im 15 but i also find it easier now cus i had her take this test too so i can understand her even better and support her in the ways i can without falsifying who i am. idk if online will help you. try facebook or just straight up texting, if you can manage to find a way to get her number xD. i tend to find a situation that helps me get the number such as a project or to call and remind them for something.
May 24, 2015 08:41:28
Thanks, but I have never talked to her and she has never talked to me. She has a facebook and I don't and I have a feeling she would be creeped out if I just texted "Hey" out of the blue. I don't even know if she likes me or not. School's almost over and I'm not sure what to do. I've dated someone before and it ended with her "not feeling it". I really would at least like to text her but mt phone doesn't work for messaging. But anyways, thanks for replying.