How Do Different Personalities Break Up?

Have you ever wondered if someone was going to break up with you? How about whether you should break up with them? Breaking up is a charged topic, partly because almost everyone can relate emotionally, and also because we all have different experiences and perspectives. It turns out that personality type is a factor in romantic breakups, as revealed by our ongoing research. Let’s take a look at some interesting stats that we’ve generated so far.

If you want to see the full, current data, take our “Breakups” survey for yourself.

First off, breaking up is not always a bad thing. Sometimes people just aren’t compatible and need something different to be truly fulfilled. Or perhaps we sometimes choose poorly and end up with a partner who doesn’t treat us well enough (or leaves their dirty underwear in the bathroom – yuck!). Breaking up is part of our romantic evolution, and about 87% of our readers agree that they’ve learned a lot from past breakups. So at least there’s that.

But the decision to break up with someone isn’t easy – or is it? That might depend on your personality. Overall, only about 21% of people say it’s usually easy, but that stat breaks down interestingly along the lines of Thinking (35% agree) and Feeling (13% agree) personality types. Only one personality type agrees in a majority (though just barely) that breaking up is usually an easy decision…and you can find out which type that is by taking the survey and examining the results to this question. (You’re tempted, admit it.)

Personality traits appear to be a major factor in whether it takes a long time for someone to recover from a breakup as well. About 60% of people overall say that it does take a long time, but that’s about 70% of Feeling personalities, versus 43% of Thinking personalities. Identity also matters, as 67% of Turbulent personalities agree, versus 47% of Assertive personality types. Of course, who’s to say what counts as a long time? And what this survey doesn’t measure is whether vast ice-cream consumption makes a difference. (I say it does.)

There are many schools of thought on how to break up with someone. Some think it’s best to explain your reasons at length to help your partner understand and perhaps to ease them into acceptance. Others think it best to make it quick and avoid prolonging the pain – like ripping off a Band-Aid. We asked whether people were usually short and to the point when breaking up with someone, and again, the biggest statistical difference in response is between Thinking (72% agree) and Feeling (45% agree) personalities. Apparently, these traits are some kind of dividing line when it comes to emotional matters. Who knew? (You did, if you’ve explored our many amazing, free articles.)

Let’s finish this out by looking at one question where the biggest response difference wasn’t along the lines of the Thinking and Feeling traits. We asked whether people usually consider themselves to be the reason for a breakup, and agreement is more likely among Turbulent (65%) than Assertive (47%) personalities. Unfortunately, some people have a distorted sense of blame, either accepting or projecting it more than is reasonable. After all, it takes two to tango, as the saying goes.

The above are only a few of the items from our “Breakups” survey, and all of that additional data is yet another reason to sign up for free and dive into our fascinating surveys and much, much more. And if you do, we promise not to break up with you. Not to sound conceited, but we’re a pretty darn committed partner when it comes to understanding your personality type – and others’.

Further Reading