Self-Sabotaging Behavior and Personality Traits: How We Keep Ourselves in the Uncomfortable Comfort Zone

Self-sabotaging behaviors are what we do when we get in our own way. Much like a “frenemy” might sabotage your budding romance or a coworker could sabotage your chance for a promotion, we often thwart our own progress.

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, sabotage means to “intentionally prevent the success of a plan or action.” Sabotage is usually covert, and when it’s successful, it results in failure or limited progress.

Most people typically think of sabotage in their own lives as interference from the outside, but more often than not, it’s something that we do to ourselves. Unlike traditional sabotage, however, self-sabotage is generally unconscious and unintentional. We are not always aware that we are doing it, even when its consequences can impact multiple facets of our lives.

Why do we hinder our own success? What makes us destabilize our own well-being? What drives us to subvert our goals? And what does our personality have to do with self-sabotaging behavior?

Staying Safe in Our Comfort Zone

The brain’s desire to avoid discomfort lies at the root of all self-sabotage. No matter our personality type, we are hardwired to favor what we are familiar with.

What we already know is much safer and more trustworthy than the unknown. So when we’re in a situation with an uncertain outcome, our instinct is to choose a course of action that allows us the best chance of anticipating what will happen. Consider it a default decision-making process of the human brain.

This cognitive preference for the safety of the “known” subconsciously influences our behavior in ways that keep us nice and safe in our comfort zone.

Let’s imagine a very basic example of someone who, in theory, really loves cheese. But when presented with an exotic cheese that they’ve never tried (maybe one with a strong smell, oddly colored veins running through it, and a creamy texture), their brain screams, “You’ve got to be kidding!” This new cheese challenges their ideas about what they like and pushes them beyond their cheese comfort zone.

If they choose not to eat that cheese, it could be argued that they are self-sabotaging their culinary experience. That stinky cheese could be the most amazing gastronomical adventure that they’ll be offered in their lifetime, but they just passed it up because it was unfamiliar and made them question everything that they thought they knew about cheese.

The exact same thing can happen when it comes to our decision-making about romantic relationships, academic or career opportunities, or the possibility of achieving major life goals.

Unfortunately, what we already know may not be all that comfortable to begin with. You may feel stuck in a job with few prospects for future advancement or in an unhealthy relationship. Maybe you’ve outgrown the town that you live in and dream of new horizons. Basically, that cheese that you’re comfortable with is not very good, and you know it.

Even if you recognize the need to shake up your patterns or move forward in life, and even if you genuinely desire to take action, your brain might still push you toward behaviors that sabotage your goals. When that happens, without even realizing it, you can make decisions and behave in ways that undermine the changes that you want.

What Does Personality Have to Do with Self-Sabotaging Behavior?

We all know someone who would choose to eat that stinky cheese. These are the people who leap out of their comfort zone and dive headfirst into the unknown, despite their reservations. We all also know someone who would wrinkle their nose as they turn away from that cheese and the opportunity to try something new. This divergence can be linked to different aspects of their personality types.

But when it comes to the influence of personality on self-sabotage, the research isn’t so clear-cut. It’s impossible to definitively say, “People with x or y personality type self-sabotage more than others.”

What we can do, however, is look at each personality trait to identify the tendencies that closely correlate to self-sabotage, such as perfectionism, low self-confidence, and self-doubt. If you are a student of personality theory, this might lead you to automatically jump to the conclusion that Turbulent types are more likely to undermine their own interests, but in reality, the personality factors that underlie self-sabotaging behaviors are more nuanced and complex. Other tendencies that are often good predictors of a person’s likelihood of unconsciously undermining their goals include procrastination, impatience, or a penchant for people-pleasing – all of which can be linked to specific aspects of personality.

And the truth is, every personality trait, when out of balance and expressed as an extreme, has the potential to sabotage our work, relationships, personal growth, and life goals. Let’s take a look at how that tends to play out for each personality trait.

If you are not yet familiar with your personality type and the specific traits that define it, consider taking our free personality test before reading any further. It will make the information that you’re about to read much more relevant.

Introverted (I)

Introverted types might unwittingly sabotage their goals through an overabundance of caution. These personalities tend to be more hesitant when gambling with the unknown and are inclined to be wary of the difficulties that they can so easily see around them. Introverts may be reluctant to try new things, feel more anxious in the face of risk, or fall into the trap of imagining worst-case scenarios. Because of this, they often opt for what they perceive to be the safest course of action in their decision-making processes.

Extraverted (E)

Overconfidence and a potential preoccupation with social pressures can easily undermine the progress of Extraverted personalities. They generally have an optimistic and go-get-’em approach to life that might lead them to take unnecessary risks as they eagerly pursue their goals. Additionally, these types may be more easily influenced by outside opinions about what they are doing and how they should be doing it. Their desire to be liked by others might motivate them to follow advice that is not in their best interests.

Intuitive (N)

For Intuitive personality types, self-sabotaging behaviors are often born out of their active imagination and impossibly high standards. Because they can so easily get lost in a world of what-ifs, they may change or adjust their goals to match their evolving ideals. Intuitive types are also susceptible to overthinking, which can lead to procrastination or outright inaction. It may be hard for them to find a grounded sense of direction that’s rooted in their present reality.

Observant (S)

Observant types may limit themselves through a tendency for black-and-white thinking. They tend to be less open to unconventional or innovative action plans, which might limit opportunities for growth or positive change. In fact, people with this personality trait might be reluctant about change in general, often opting for the predictability that can be found within their comfort zone rather than taking chances with the unknown.

Feeling (F)

People-pleasing is strongly linked to self-sabotaging behavior, and people with the Feeling personality trait are the most likely to fall into self-sacrificing patterns. They tend to be strongly considerate of others, sometimes attending to their own needs last. Feeling types may struggle with neglecting their personal boundaries, doubting their ability to assess risk, and making decisions based on maintaining social harmony. When they choose to pursue their authentic desires or goals in life, they often do so in a way that doesn’t risk disapproval from others.

Thinking (T)

Individuals with the Thinking personality trait have a strong tendency to prioritize rationality, objectivity, and logic in their analytical and decision-making processes. Unfortunately, this tendency – when taken to the extreme – can lead to disconnection from both their own emotions and the feelings of others. This might cause them to develop an incomplete sense of the consequences of their actions. It’s also possible that Thinking personalities might distance themselves from people who could help them make progress toward their goals or that they might come to trivialize the value of “happiness.”

Judging (J)

People with the Judging trait are likely to value feeling in control, and because of this, they may lean toward risk aversion. Despite having a well-developed capacity for planning and executing their goals, their need for predictability may hold them securely within their comfort zone. Some Judging types can be pretty rigid in their thinking, decision-making, and expectations. They may leave little room for spontaneity or the unknown, creating a narrow path toward their goals that they may come to realize in retrospect was misguided or limiting.

Prospecting (P)

Procrastination, indecision, and impulsivity are self-sabotaging behaviors that happen to be strongly associated with the Prospecting personality trait. Some Prospecting types may opt to just “go with the flow” rather than stress about things that they feel are out of their control. If something proves to be more demanding than they expected, they might change course rather than fight what they perceive to be an uphill battle. In some circumstances, these tendencies can be quite helpful, but they can also make it a real challenge to maintain motivation while working on difficult but necessary life changes.

Assertive (-A)

Assertive personalities have something of a buffer against self-sabotage, thanks to their higher levels of overall confidence. This same confidence, however, when taken to the extreme, may undermine their progress in life if it turns into arrogance or complacency. Assertive types might overextend themselves by taking risks that they are not properly prepared for or by overlooking the potential negative consequences of their actions, trusting that everything will work out just fine. If it doesn’t, they may be okay with that, choosing to be content in their comfort zone rather than feeling an enhanced sense of urgency to break out of it.

Turbulent (-T)

Turbulent types are vulnerable to self-sabotaging behaviors on many fronts. Regardless of their other personality traits, they are likely to place great value on the opinions of others, to struggle with decision-making, and to be motivated (at least subconsciously) by a fear of failure. The high expectations that they often set for themselves reflect the perfectionistic tendencies that may cause them to shy away from uncertainty, making the work of moving beyond their comfort zone particularly uncomfortable.

All Personality Types Are Capable of Self-Sabotage

Recognizing our self-sabotaging behaviors is a deeply personal process that requires mindfulness and reflection. Some may find clarity easily, while for others, it might unfold in layers. Embrace your own pace.

Stepping outside of our comfort zone – whether in our relationships, career, or life goals – opens us up to feelings of insecurity and the possibility of failure or getting hurt.

As you can see, every aspect of our personality type has the potential to make us vulnerable to self-sabotage. No one is immune. Self-sabotage is something that we all do to some extent. The tendency to get in our own way as we expand and grow beyond our comfort zone may, in fact, be part of human nature.

The personality tendencies that we’ve discussed in this article might seem pretty heavy, but there’s hope. Self-sabotage can be overcome. The key is to recognize when it’s happening, and hopefully, this article will help you in your process of learning how to do just that. Through the study of personality theory, self-awareness, and introspection, you can learn to identify and observe your particular self-sabotaging tendencies more objectively. Not only that, but you can also learn how to harness the inherent strengths of your personality to stop sabotaging yourself as you move toward your goals.

Now that you know the basics of how personality relates to this issue, which personality traits (or combination of traits) do you feel underlie your self-sabotaging behaviors? Feel free to share your observations in the comments below.