INTJ Personality and Emotions

INTJs are defined by their confidence, logic, and exceptional decision-making, but all of this hides a turbulent underbelly – their emotions. The very notion of emotional expression is synonymous with irrationality and weakness to many INTJs, a display of poor self-governance and fleeting opinion that can hardly stand up to the enduring light of factual truth.

This mistrust of emotions is understandable, as Feeling (F) is the most weakly developed trait for INTJs – like any complex tool, skilled hands can use it to remarkable effect, while untrained hands make clumsy and dangerous work.

People with the INTJ personality type take pride in remaining rational and logical at all times, considering honesty and straightforward information to be paramount to euphemisms and platitudes in almost all circumstances. In many ways though, these qualities of coolness and detachment aren’t the weapons of truth that they appear to be, but are instead shields designed to protect the inner emotions that INTJs feel. In fact, because their emotions are such an underdeveloped tool, INTJs often feel them more strongly than many overtly emotional types because they simply haven’t learned how to control them effectively.

INTJ personality and emotions

There Is Not a Truth Existing Which I Fear

This is a challenging paradigm for INTJs to manage, especially younger and more Turbulent types who are already less confident than they would like to appear. These feelings are contrary to INTJs’ idea of themselves as paragons of logic and knowledge, and they may go so far as to claim they have no emotions at all. This does not mean that people with the INTJ personality type should be seen as, nor should they aspire to be, cold-blooded and insensitive geniuses living by the mantra that emotions are for the weak. INTJs must understand that this isn’t the case, and isn’t ever going to be.

More mature and Assertive INTJs find more useful ways to manage their feelings. While they will never be comfortable with a truly public display of emotions, INTJs can learn to use them, to channel them alongside their logic to help them achieve their goals. While seemingly contradictory, this can be done in several ways.

Firstly, INTJs are goal-oriented, with long-term ideas founded on sound logic. When something does cause an emotional reaction, good or bad, that energy can be used to further those goals, aiding rational and pre-determined plans. Secondly, emotions are figurative canaries in the coal mine, indicating that something is off even though logic can’t see it yet. These feelings can help INTJs to use their logic to ask questions they may not have thought to ask. "This is upsetting. Why? What can be done to resolve it?"

Question With Boldness

In this way, emotions are not INTJs’ way of addressing a decision, but rather an indication that a decision needs to be addressed. INTJ personalities’ Thinking (T) trait acts as a protective big brother to their Feeling (F) trait – seeing that something has upset the less able sibling, it steps in to take action, letting logic do the talking and resolving the condition rather than complaining about its consequences.

There comes a time though, when logic is simply the wrong tool for the job, when there just isn’t a rational solution to a problem, and it is in these situations that INTJs must use their Feeling (F) trait most clearly. INTJs would do well to practice this from time to time, or at least be aware of it, because however they may try, it is impossible to truly separate emotion from the decision-making process. The fact is that INTJs do feel, and deeply, and this makes them better, not worse.

bk
3 years ago
INTJ...sitting here in a bar and realizing how well I can read emotions in others, more than most. The fault, is not turning that "skill" towards oneself, nor to critically evaluate one's intuitions and understandings the same way we project outward. Think about it.
Kellie
3 years ago
I love the reference to one's Thinking-self acting like a "big brother" to one's Feeling-self. As I get older and have softened up, even though I tested high for an INTJ in highschool, I find myself arguing with myself and it' s just as it looks. My Thinking-self acts like a big brother, chastising my true desires at time, talking over my feelings as if they don't matter, and generally just still trying to be that part of me that knows-it-all and wants the most logical answer with no emotions considered. Funny stuff.
thelma
3 years ago
discovering am an Intj is the kind of revelation that validated there's nothing wrong with me . do I sympathyise ? yes I do . but my mind compels me to analyses , in the situations it has happened so what is its effect . in this way I understand sorrow . the disadvantage I have always felt affected me is the lack of interest in schools to certain subjects. This ensured in whereas I got A's in the subject I was fascinated with I got horrible grades in those I didn't see there use .is it just me ?? and yes I sometimes think I have multiple personalities
Anonymous
3 years ago
I agree with your point on grades, and its true in so many ways. If im interested in something i will engage 100% and invest a lot time into researching it. I excelled in subjects I enjoyed, but got.. Mediocre or bad grades in subjects i disliked. In general, if something doesn't interest me... Ill just tune out and ignore it. One technique i used in highschool, was to convince myself something was interesting and pretend I liked it in order to study it well. Sounds stupid, but it worked for me. I also spend a lot of time in my head and I hate to admit it, but when im in a group i tend to go with the flow and miss out on whats going on around me. For example: ill go somewhere with friends and not remember the way there or back after. Even if ive gone there numerous times.
Anonymous
3 years ago
I am the exact same way. For example, if I see a homeless man on the street, at first I sympathize and think "oh, the poor man" but then I'll start being rational about it and start thinking about the possible reason/causes for the person being homeless.
Julia
3 years ago
I also have been labeled as the antisocial, geeky bookworm. I have no problem being defined this way and yet I don't understand why others view it as a problem. The one thing that I'm consistently told is that I think too much. I do keep my emotions in check for the most part and I have been told that I'm not easy to read. I'm fine with who I am and will continue to approach life with a pragmatic mind.
SuE
3 years ago
Being an INTJ, i feel like i do have emotions but do not let them overpower me and become my main source of motivation. I do not hide them from people but i think their is no point in sharing. I tend to solve my problem myself and if i need help, i would just ask for it rather than create an emotional drama and trick people into offering help. Also, i do not feel any kind of happiness or whatever good stuff people feel while sharing emotions. Sometimes i think people tend to over-exploit emotions. I do feel certain emotions like sadness but never felt empathy or sympathy . I tend to divide emotions into valid or invalid, people crying, whining, shouting, screaming and jumping over nonsense issues gets me so bored. But when i see actual problems i do understand them.
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