INTJ Personality and Emotions

INTJs are defined by their confidence, logic, and exceptional decision-making, but all of this hides a turbulent underbelly – their emotions. The very notion of emotional expression is synonymous with irrationality and weakness to many INTJs, a display of poor self-governance and fleeting opinion that can hardly stand up to the enduring light of factual truth.

This mistrust of emotions is understandable, as Feeling (F) is the most weakly developed trait for INTJs – like any complex tool, skilled hands can use it to remarkable effect, while untrained hands make clumsy and dangerous work.

People with the INTJ personality type take pride in remaining rational and logical at all times, considering honesty and straightforward information to be paramount to euphemisms and platitudes in almost all circumstances. In many ways though, these qualities of coolness and detachment aren’t the weapons of truth that they appear to be, but are instead shields designed to protect the inner emotions that INTJs feel. In fact, because their emotions are such an underdeveloped tool, INTJs often feel them more strongly than many overtly emotional types because they simply haven’t learned how to control them effectively.

INTJ personality and emotions

There Is Not a Truth Existing Which I Fear

This is a challenging paradigm for INTJs to manage, especially younger and more Turbulent types who are already less confident than they would like to appear. These feelings are contrary to INTJs’ idea of themselves as paragons of logic and knowledge, and they may go so far as to claim they have no emotions at all. This does not mean that people with the INTJ personality type should be seen as, nor should they aspire to be, cold-blooded and insensitive geniuses living by the mantra that emotions are for the weak. INTJs must understand that this isn’t the case, and isn’t ever going to be.

More mature and Assertive INTJs find more useful ways to manage their feelings. While they will never be comfortable with a truly public display of emotions, INTJs can learn to use them, to channel them alongside their logic to help them achieve their goals. While seemingly contradictory, this can be done in several ways.

Firstly, INTJs are goal-oriented, with long-term ideas founded on sound logic. When something does cause an emotional reaction, good or bad, that energy can be used to further those goals, aiding rational and pre-determined plans. Secondly, emotions are figurative canaries in the coal mine, indicating that something is off even though logic can’t see it yet. These feelings can help INTJs to use their logic to ask questions they may not have thought to ask. "This is upsetting. Why? What can be done to resolve it?"

Question With Boldness

In this way, emotions are not INTJs’ way of addressing a decision, but rather an indication that a decision needs to be addressed. INTJ personalities’ Thinking (T) trait acts as a protective big brother to their Feeling (F) trait – seeing that something has upset the less able sibling, it steps in to take action, letting logic do the talking and resolving the condition rather than complaining about its consequences.

There comes a time though, when logic is simply the wrong tool for the job, when there just isn’t a rational solution to a problem, and it is in these situations that INTJs must use their Feeling (F) trait most clearly. INTJs would do well to practice this from time to time, or at least be aware of it, because however they may try, it is impossible to truly separate emotion from the decision-making process. The fact is that INTJs do feel, and deeply, and this makes them better, not worse.

3 years ago
I wish there are more female INTJ's in the world. As a female INTJ, I find it difficult to mingle with my fellow girls in high school because they are too emotional. I am extremely solitary and private, but I am socially outgoing if I can talk about important things like politics, science, or history. I absolutely LOATHE how conceited and vain people can be nowadays. I'm glad my type of personality is actually classified. I'm proud to bear the name of INTJ.
3 years ago
I am an INFJ, married to an INTJ, and although I am at the most sensitive and emotional end of the scale, I have never related to most of the typical brand of girl emotions, for lack of a better word. I don't understand girl chitchat and have often felt very misunderstood, but INFJs are somewhat complex and empathic, making for an unusual thought-life with intensity.
3 years ago
I'm a female INTJ, 17 years old. I completely agree, the only girl I have met who I can relate to the most is an INTP and we're best friends. People have commented on how alike we are. But we also compliment each other, like when I unnecessarily over plan things and don't realize, all she has to do is say "If you want to do it, then I think you should. Because etc etc etc". Then because we have such a similar train thought I can immediately understand her reasoning. It's great, but she is the only one I know. I only have one other friend, though I'm not sure which type she is. I can't relate to her as easily though.
3 years ago
I think my emotions are logical. Is this even a thing? Logical emotion? It seems to be the best description.
3 years ago
Being an INTJ is fine for the ability to spend a lot of time alone but when it comes to having to sell oneself and network, that's when the problems start.
Shabrekia Fairley
3 years ago
I feel that I'm always misunderstood and I try to make others understand me
3 years ago
Every single word of this is true for me. I'm an 18 year old male, and I'm still in high school. Many people see me as a sort of walking dictionary with no real personality. It's awesome finding out that there's probably millions of people out there who understand exactly what I struggle with on a daily basis. I would say that, overall, this is definitely one of the most significant things that I have ever read. Stay awesome, fellow INTJs :)
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