INTJ personality and emotions

INTJs are defined by their confidence, logic, and exceptional decision-making, but all of this hides a turbulent underbelly - their emotions. The very notion of emotional expression is synonymous with irrationality and weakness to many INTJs, a display of poor self-governance and fleeting opinion that can hardly stand up to the enduring light of factual truth.

This mistrust of emotions is understandable, as Feeling (F) is the most weakly developed trait for INTJs - like any complex tool, skilled hands can use it to remarkable effect, while untrained hands make clumsy and dangerous work.

People with the INTJ personality type take pride in remaining rational and logical at all times, considering honesty and straightforward information to be paramount to euphemisms and platitudes in almost all circumstances. In many ways though, these qualities of coolness and detachment aren't the weapons of truth that they appear to be, but are instead shields designed to protect the inner emotions that INTJs feel. In fact, because their emotions are such an underdeveloped tool, INTJs often feel them more strongly than many overtly emotional types because they simply haven't learned how to control them effectively.

There is not a Truth Existing Which I Fear

This is a challenging paradigm for INTJs to manage, especially younger and more Turbulent types who are already less confident than they would like to appear. These feelings are contrary to INTJs' idea of themselves as paragons of logic and knowledge, and they may go so far as to claim they have no emotions at all. This does not mean that people with the INTJ personality type should be seen as, nor should they aspire to be, cold-blooded and insensitive geniuses living by the mantra that emotions are for the weak. INTJs must understand that this isn't the case, and isn't ever going to be.

INTJ personality and emotionsMore mature and Assertive INTJs find more useful ways to manage their feelings. While they will never be comfortable with a truly public display of emotions, INTJs can learn to use them, to channel them alongside their logic to help them achieve their goals. While seemingly contradictory, this can be done in several ways.

Firstly, INTJs are goal-oriented, with long-term ideas founded on sound logic. When something does cause an emotional reaction, good or bad, that energy can be used to further those goals, aiding rational and pre-determined plans. Secondly, emotions are figurative canaries in the coal mine, indicating that something is off even though logic can't see it yet. These feelings can help INTJs to use their logic to ask questions they may not have thought to ask. "This is upsetting. Why? What can be done to resolve it?"

Question With Boldness

In this way, emotions are not INTJs' way of addressing a decision, but rather an indication that a decision needs to be addressed. INTJ personalities' Thinking (T) trait acts as a protective big brother to their Feeling (F) trait - seeing that something has upset the less able sibling, it steps in to take action, letting logic do the talking and resolving the condition rather than complaining about its consequences.

There comes a time though, when logic is simply the wrong tool for the job, when there just isn't a rational solution to a problem, and it is in these situations that INTJs must use their Feeling (F) trait most clearly. INTJs would do well to practice this from time to time, or at least be aware of it, because however they may try, it is impossible to truly separate emotion from the decision-making process. The fact is that INTJs do feel, and deeply, and this makes them better, not worse.

Romantic Relationships
Strengths & Weaknesses


Your name:
Leila Muniz
Nov 09, 2014 19:00:38
I am 14 years old and I have never found someone with the same personality as me. Being INTJ is a two way road-it has both extremely good and downside, and that shows in my everyday life. I'm picky, perfectionist, stressed and analytical. My own personality and actions are very rational and I'm always told to have 6 or more years than I have. Although it is hard to be like that, as a truly INTJ, I'm also very arrogant and use this to protect myself. Don't blame your personality for who you wanted to be. You're awesome this way, just keep doing your magic!
Nov 03, 2014 04:15:11
Amazingly accurate. 0.8% now I understand why I feel so a lone and different. Thank You.
Oct 25, 2014 05:04:12
I'm an INTJ, and I'm proud of it, but being like this also makes me feel terrible. So many of my friends call me heartless because I move away from them when they get too emotional, and don't show my own emotions that much. I'm know that I'm really quite harsh with them, but I don't really know how else to act. I'm a teenager, so it's even harder because my emotions are so turbulent on the inside. Of course, most of you probably know this, and have experienced this. I feel even worse for my parents, who try so hard to get me to open up, and I won't, feeling too vulnerable to do so, even around them
Anonymous User
Oct 24, 2014 00:51:36
I do feel ashamed as of part in the judgement. We may be top of the line. but I still think we are mistreating those with arrogance Knowing this is secret, I can express without the fact you know who I possibly am. I may not seem as a INTJ but I am extremely young. I will not state my age of youth to you though. I cannot believe how much grammar errors I'm going to let slide. I feel as if we are not gods and it's not right for us to be judgmental,but maybe it's possible I rushed threw the quiz (but I gave much thought) and am something else. Maybe I'm not reading correctly? Also it seems a large amount of vocabulary is used in these comments. No?
Jimmy Joe
Oct 23, 2014 04:51:36
INTJ is an aspect of my personality, but, it's not the whole of me or the last word. This is a preference style of perceiving, evaluating and experiencing circumstances and events. It's like saying, the grass is green and the sky is blue; neither color is worse or better than the other, but, is. Being an INTJ is neither good or bad. It should never however be an excuse to say to a colleague at work or a loved one--"It's me. Get over it." "I" types should make effort appreciate others emotions as another kind-of-fact of life and should develop the vestages of the "E" that remains silent in their own souls. It's the same for any of your letters whether--NTJ. Don't get stuck on yourself and fail to grow more balance in your life. For me, the grace of God and the love of family and friends is where is the freedom and space to grow.