INTJ Personality and Emotions

INTJs are defined by their confidence, logic, and exceptional decision-making, but all of this hides a turbulent underbelly - their emotions. The very notion of emotional expression is synonymous with irrationality and weakness to many INTJs, a display of poor self-governance and fleeting opinion that can hardly stand up to the enduring light of factual truth.

This mistrust of emotions is understandable, as Feeling (F) is the most weakly developed trait for INTJs - like any complex tool, skilled hands can use it to remarkable effect, while untrained hands make clumsy and dangerous work.

People with the INTJ personality type take pride in remaining rational and logical at all times, considering honesty and straightforward information to be paramount to euphemisms and platitudes in almost all circumstances. In many ways though, these qualities of coolness and detachment aren't the weapons of truth that they appear to be, but are instead shields designed to protect the inner emotions that INTJs feel. In fact, because their emotions are such an underdeveloped tool, INTJs often feel them more strongly than many overtly emotional types because they simply haven't learned how to control them effectively.

There is not a Truth Existing Which I Fear

This is a challenging paradigm for INTJs to manage, especially younger and more Turbulent types who are already less confident than they would like to appear. These feelings are contrary to INTJs' idea of themselves as paragons of logic and knowledge, and they may go so far as to claim they have no emotions at all. This does not mean that people with the INTJ personality type should be seen as, nor should they aspire to be, cold-blooded and insensitive geniuses living by the mantra that emotions are for the weak. INTJs must understand that this isn't the case, and isn't ever going to be.

INTJ personality and emotionsMore mature and Assertive INTJs find more useful ways to manage their feelings. While they will never be comfortable with a truly public display of emotions, INTJs can learn to use them, to channel them alongside their logic to help them achieve their goals. While seemingly contradictory, this can be done in several ways.

Firstly, INTJs are goal-oriented, with long-term ideas founded on sound logic. When something does cause an emotional reaction, good or bad, that energy can be used to further those goals, aiding rational and pre-determined plans. Secondly, emotions are figurative canaries in the coal mine, indicating that something is off even though logic can't see it yet. These feelings can help INTJs to use their logic to ask questions they may not have thought to ask. "This is upsetting. Why? What can be done to resolve it?"

Question With Boldness

In this way, emotions are not INTJs' way of addressing a decision, but rather an indication that a decision needs to be addressed. INTJ personalities' Thinking (T) trait acts as a protective big brother to their Feeling (F) trait - seeing that something has upset the less able sibling, it steps in to take action, letting logic do the talking and resolving the condition rather than complaining about its consequences.

There comes a time though, when logic is simply the wrong tool for the job, when there just isn't a rational solution to a problem, and it is in these situations that INTJs must use their Feeling (F) trait most clearly. INTJs would do well to practice this from time to time, or at least be aware of it, because however they may try, it is impossible to truly separate emotion from the decision-making process. The fact is that INTJs do feel, and deeply, and this makes them better, not worse.

4. Romantic Relationships
2. Strengths & Weaknesses


Your name:
Map For My Emotions
Mar 18, 2015 06:17:20
Does anyone else find it hilarious how we are the only ones with an "emotions" page?
Happy that we are all conversing
Mar 18, 2015 05:36:51
Ah, the fellow like minded INTJ confession page.
Feb 24, 2015 02:51:00
So this is why I sometimes feel so numb.



I haven't cried in six years.
I remember when I had at least some emotion.... but now I think i've just tried to block out everything so much I forgot how to feel.
INTJ - 100% Introvert
Feb 22, 2015 05:02:49
This is basically a partial monologue reply to the comment by the INTP below me. It was really only until recently that I have inspected my emotional state because beforehand I was completely focused on doing well in school and accumulating knowledge. As well as going through various phases of self-improvement because I plan out what traits and skills I want to improve in myself. I realized a year ago that I rarely thought about my emotions. Looking back, I thought about all the times I suppressed my emotions. For example, when someone's actions directly affect me and anger me, I force into the back of my mind and just let it pass. The other times I despaired at my lack of social courage and gave up on a crush I had for several years. This I just glossed over and effectively convinced myself that I didn't need romantic relationships and for a parting shot I suppressed sexual feelings around girls as well, though in public only. All this amounted to a glaring social weakness yet at the same time there was a contradiction. I had over the years managed to garner a reputation at my school as being a smart, kind guy who you could ask questions. In addition, I have plenty of friends, and another contradiction is that I never showed my emotions to any of these friends and extremely rarely to my family who I have an excellent relationship with. I think all this adds up to that I am a more developed INTJ but I still kept that huge distrust of emotion and managed a way to appear socially acceptable. What I have become is the social chameleon of sorts because I can adapt to any social situation even though I may not truly care about what is being talked about. I have become a master at deception even though it may not be the best course.
An out of place diplomat
Feb 20, 2015 00:48:47
First off, let me just state that I'm an INFP, and though this is a reply to one specific comment, I'm saying this to all you INTJ.
As much as I feel like I'm being slightly intrusive, I have a few things that I feel are worth saying on behalf of the diplomats. Many of you have mentioned difficulty in expressing emotions, as well as feeling misunderstood. I have news: INFP and INTJ share a lot in common when it comes to that aspect. We have a lot of emotion, but we rarely ever express it. We love to help others with emotional/social chellenges, but we usually keep our own emotions to ourselves. Also, I don't know about other people with the INFP personality type, but I, for one, have always been 'that kid' in school as well. I can never talk about the things that interest me without getting eye rolls and names and labels. I've always just felt really different from the rest of the kids my age. I can't explain how, but I just felt different.
Anyways, let's get to the point: the main reason so many of you feel misunderstood is because of the fact that it's so hard for you to open up. By repressing your emotions, you're making it impossible for anyone else to understand. Nobody is THAT intuitive. My best friend is an INTJ, (an unusual duo, I know,) and she's a master at hiding her emotions. It bothers me because I never know how she's doing, therefore, I'm not able to help. None of you are as alone as you think you are. I'm having some trouble properly expressing what I want to say, because as a diplomat trying to explain something to an analyst, I may as well be speaking a foreign language, but I guess my point is that there's a difference between being able to put your emotions aside to make a logical decision, and repressing them completely. I realize that the issue here is the fact that most of you don't want or think that you need help or emotional support, but just know that emotions don't make you weak, in the same way that getting hungry doesn't make you weak. All humans have emotions and there are so many benefits that come when you're able to express them in moderation.
Sorry again if I'm being intrusive or annoying by leaving this comment, but my 'I want to help all of the people' nature got the best of me. Hopefully this is helpful to some of you. :)
Showanda Lashandiniqua Terioshi'anaque
Mar 18, 2015 05:34:36
I do the same exact thing. I guess part of being an INTJ, is always feeling terrified of telling people your feelings and what you are thinking about. For me, my brain physically won't let me open up to people. In the past I have tried to tell close friends about some personal things, but end up almost in tears. I guess I just prefer to listen to others than contributing my life story. I enjoy reading these comments though, because being a high school student I often feel out of place or I don't belong. So that being said, I hope every one has a wonderful day.
I forgot the long name I put
Mar 18, 2015 05:51:45
Also, I forgot to say that one of my good friends is an INFP. She balances me out perfectly.
Feb 21, 2015 20:39:00
Thank you for putting this on here. I have to admit, some of my best friends are INTP's because we do have so much in common with each other. The most mature and assertive INTP's and INTJ's are both very open-minded.

Most INTJ's just don't trust people and will not open-up because they feel vulnerable. What I do when I start building a bit of trust with that person is that I give them small pieces and they can choose to accept that part of me or be respectful. If they do, I will feed them a little more and more. If they don't, then I don't trust them and I won't even bother with them. However, I do it. It takes some time and few people have been able to get to the deepest levels of who I really am but those who are trustworthy, respectable, and nice see a genuine person in me. I have few really good friends but they are great!
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